BREXIT Explained to the African | Managing Tantrums

  • Written by Oscar Habeenzu
  • Published in Business

A short story. 

To those that did not know, Great Britain is threatening to leave the European Union, a family she chose to be her own without being forced.

Let’s suppose you are Zulu, from South Africa; and of the royal family in KZN.

Now, imagine you have a northern wife (uTeresa), claiming to be royally relevant as was in ancient times, throwing a marital tantrum of walking out on you just because the conditions in your family are not conducive to her, and she goes around the whole countryside telling every family and village that they should support her exiting your life.

UTeresa uyahamba azotshela wonke umuntu ukuthi nguye onika imali, uma kungenye indlela. (uTeresa goes around telling everyone that she is the one giving you money, when it is the other way around!).

At first these people pay attention to her, thinking she is beautiful, very intelligent, and has a heritage of being of the north (not a Starks though). 

You as a reasonable man, having focus and able to tolerate some amount of drama, do quiet diplomacy to have people speak to her about staying with you and building a better home and family as you are collectively doing.

She then repents, but not quite, because she returns without a witness to apologise with all the dramatics of the world of apology, and for a few days shows commitment, only to throw the tantrum again.

By the time the second tantrum comes, you would have revaluated your economic status, assessed alternatives of a possible tantrum, and made calculations of the level of drama from the possible storm, and are ready for it. 

Then when she pulls the second “I am leaving” tantrum, you just tell those same ones from the quiet diplomacy portfolio, that you are no longer interested, she can go, as you have been waiting for her to do so, and even predicted it when she returned the first time.

You stand your ground as she starts kicking and screaming all about in the villages, telling people lies about you, until those people come to check for themselves all these claims; to find none are true.

All these tantrums even make her be in bad books with her own people, who start questioning her motives or ability to even commit to life itself. 

She extends the tantrum by looking for new prophets of economics and culture, all to justify her need for exiting your Zulu home, that she feels she must be superior to all and must never be questioned.

Dear African, I hope you can animate for yourself how this tantrum ends.

Last modified onThursday, 20 February 2020 07:26